The Bosque

So I went to training today...only there was no training.

The GM advised me that the owner's wife (who is handling most of the restaurant's business affairs) was ill, and that training wouldn't be happening today. I walked in the door just before 1; he knew at 11:30.

Ya know, I just don't have a good feeling about this. I don't think these guys are being shady, but given the situation with the hours and the wages and now this...

This is the 2-week notice I gave them today:

To whom it may concern:

This shall serve as my 2-week notice; my last day at the restaurant will be Friday April 18th.

Based upon my discussion with (name) before accepting the delivery job, I was under the impression that I would be employed full-time and would earn at least as much as I did working at a Pizza Shit franchise for the past 3 years. When I looked at the schedule on March 26th, I was only scheduled for 19 hours. In addition, I was advised that my wage would be $5 per hour plus tips. While I initially agreed with this wage, upon further analysis, I discovered that I would make approximately $2.25 per hour less than I do now.

Furthermore, I was supposed to have POS training on Monday March 31st, from 1-4pm. Upon arriving, I was advised by (name) that (name) was sick and that training would not take place; I received no contact advising me of the cancellation.

I have a Bachelors degree in Psychology from UMSL, and a Masters degree in Business Management from Fontbonne. Unfortunately, the job market in St. Louis is not strong right now, and as such, delivery has been my primary job for the past 2 years. At Pizza Shit, I averaged 36 hours, 123 deliveries and $$$ per week. Based on the hours and pay, I would simply not be able to work for the restaurant for an extended period of time. I realize that the restaurant is new and that business could vary wildly initially. And I do not think the events that have happened have been malicious; I hold no ill will toward the restaurant or the owners. But based on these events, I believe that it is best for me to cut my losses early and find another job.

If there is a way that my concerns can be rectified, I welcome it. I was looking forward to working for the restaurant, and promise to be a good worker for the 2 weeks I am here. If my concerns cannot be addressed, I wish the restaurant the best of luck and success.

Sincerely,



me

The GM was actually really cool about it when I took the letter up to him. I have no hard feelings...I'm just frustrated and I want a decent job. On one hand, he said they might just cut me loose; then he said something might be worked out. I dunno...I'm hitting the pavement tomorrow.

Today is sorta my first day at the new place. The restaurant officially opens Wednesday, but I have 3 hours of training today on the computer system. I seriously doubt that it's gonna take 3 hours to learn the system...we'll see. Hopefully the pay/hours situation will be resolved...so I'll know whether I should look for another job or just pick up some hours at Pizza Shit for now.

It's gonna be so weird not going to Pizza Shit today...I've worked all but a handful of Monday day shifts since September 2006...I haven't missed one since our honeymoon. But it'll be good to be away from there...after you work there full-time for a while, the place just gets to you.

Wish me luck!

As of tonight, I will still be working at Pizza Shit for at least another week, and probably more.

The situation with the new folks is kinda weird. My understanding with them was that I would be full-time and that I would make at least as much wage-wise as I do now. Unfortunately, after talking to the new folks 2 nights ago, I will be making significantly less than I do now, plus I only have 19 hours a week for at least the next 2 weeks.

I realize this is a new place and that things are gonna be weird for a bit. But I can't work part-time for that long, and the wage definitely needs to be increased. I would rather not work at Pizza Shit anymore, but at least I left on good terms and can pick up extra shifts...which is what I'm doing next week.

I advised the new folks that I would like to work for them, but that at the current hours and wages, I'd have to start looking for a new job by the end of the next month. They told me they'd discuss the concerns and get back to me.

I am hopeful, but not very optimistic. They have to do their thing, and I have to do mine. Maybe someone from the real world will call me soon...that'd be nice.

A resolution to Tuesday's issue with the iodine...

I just got off the phone with the store manager of the Walgreens in question. According to him, there is no actual state or federal restriction on the sale of iodine, and I should have been able to purchase it with no problem. Apparently, the pharmacist acted on his own, and will now be disciplined.

Well, at least one good thing happened today. The job situation now has a spanner in the works...more tomorrow.

Going in a new direction today...

I've been trying to buy a bottle of iodine for the past couple of days. I have occasional b.o. issues, and I want to do a sweat test with iodine and baking soda to see which sweat glands under my arms are the most active.

I went to 3 different Walgreens, but they were all out. A fourth store had it, but the pharmacist refused to sell it to me.

Apparently, iodine is one of those chemicals that is now red-flagged by the Feds. I didn't know this until a little while ago, but iodine can be used to make meth. When I asked the pharmacist for it, he immediately asked for my ID and asked what I wanted it for. I explained why I wanted it, then he told me he would not sell it to me unless I had a note from my doctor specifying why I wanted it.

This happened an hour ago, but I'm still pretty pissed about it. I don't think I'd be so pissed if the pharmacist had actually explained the restrictions and had not come across as a dick. I'm waiting on a response from Walgreens corporate regarding their policy on the sale of iodine...especially given that I can purchase cold medicine from behind the counter with just an ID and some basic info. Plus, I guess it bothers me that I may have been stereotyped as a meth maker or something along those lines.

I'll get over it...but Goddammit...

I finally started getting e-mail again this morning. Of course, it's all fresh mail. Apparently, AT&T just tossed out all my sent and received e-mail from the past week.

I'd bitch to AT&T about it, but I'm not sure it would do much good. And I probably didn't miss much anyway. Maybe it helped convince spammers that I don't exist...that would rock!

I haven't received any e-mail since last Wednesday. Apparently, AT&T thought that my domain name was used solely for spam, and as such, blocked me from sending or receiving e-mails.

Of course, AT&T didn't tell me...I only found out through my web hosting company, who asked AT&T to unblock me. It probably would have been nice of AT&T (or even the web host) to tell me, instead of wondering what the fuck happened. Or maybe AT&T could have looked at my e-mail traffic...I barely send any e-mail out.

Hopefully, it'll be fixed tomorrow...this shit sucks!

April and I, along with some of our other friends, went to Convivial Pursuit at the Mad Art Gallery tonight.

It was kinda a foo-foo event...I probably wouldn't hang out with most of these folks on a normal day, but we remained our charming fucked-up selves. All the trivia was related to food...I knew some of the stuff, but April and another woman at our table knew a lot of the answers. We wound up placing 7th out of 19 tables. And Monken won 3 of the 8 raffle prizes, that fucker.

Incidentally, April and I were part of a team that came in 3rd at a YMCA Trivia Night last month...because we rock like that.

Why does it seem like every Good Friday, it's cloudy or rainy? I can't remember a Good Friday when it was sunny...and I've lived in three different cities where I've experienced this phenomena.

Say what you will...to me, it's all the proof I need for the existence of a higher power.

From MSNBC: Faced with data showing that drivers pay attention to cameras at intersections — resulting in fewer ticketable violations and ever-shrinking revenue from fines — municipalities across the country are reconsidering red light cameras, which often work too well.

They just started installing them in the City of St. Louis last year. April doesn't like them; I dunno. I thought they were a great idea in Philly, because Philly drivers love to jump the light and are psychotic. St. Louis drivers are relatively docile...except that we like to speed.

...she really did accomplish something big yesterday!

April won a $100,000 grant from the National Association of Children's Hospitals and Related Institutions to build a injury prevention/safety store at St. Louis Children's Hospital. There are 219 member institutions in NACHRI...45 hospitals applied for 6 grants...SLCH won one of them.

Incidentally, I helped write the grant...yeah...that's right. This is the second grant request that I have helped April with...and she's won both of them. In fact, she's 2-for-2. How do you like them apples?!

Seriously though, she was a beast. She had a hard time trying to get this one done, but it all came together in the end, and now SLCH will be kissing her ass for months to come...and her boss will fear losing his job even more. ;)

Congratulations, baby...I'm so proud of you!

As of a few minutes ago, I have watched every Family Guy that is currently available on DVD...94 of the 108 episodes that have been made.

We asked for all the then-available Family Guy DVDs for wedding gifts, and got each one of them. Then I recently bought Volume 5 along with Blue Harvest (this season's first episode) a few months ago. I've been watching the DVDs off and on probably since early February...along the way, I've sucked April into the show. Apparently, she had not watched it often until I came along...now she's hooked on it...bwahahahaha!

I think I'm going to rewatch all of Chappelle's Show now...but my brother needs to give me back season one before I can...the fucker.

My mother's side of the family is a bit complicated to understand. Long story short, my mother's birth mom, Beverly, had my mom at age 17. Beverly was a "wild spirit," and my mom's grandma adopted her shortly after birth. So my mom's birth mom legally became her sister...and my mom is both the oldest of 5 and the youngest of 6. I generally refer to Beverly as my aunt, though I slip up and refer to her as my grandmother on occasion.

(Incidentally, to this day, my mom is only vaguely familiar with the identity of her birth father, and has never met him. For that matter, Beverly was only vaguely familiar with him.)

Anyhoo...Beverly died this morning at her home in Santa Barbara, CA, aged 69. She had been in poor health in recent years and had also suffered from epileptic seizures since childhood.

She came to St. Louis several times when I was a kid, and my mom and I went out to see her 2 years ago when she was mistakenly diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Let's just say she was an...interesting character. My brother and stepfather couldn't stand her. During one of her visits, my stepdad threw her out of the house, and she had to stay with one of my aunts...that was pretty fucking funny!

I'm indifferent about her death...she was a poor mother (not only to my mom, but the 4 kids she had later), and the disconnect between her and my mom was almost heart-breaking to witness when we went out there in '05. I'm more sad for my mom...she never had that special mother-daughter relationship with Beverly...and Beverly never apologized for abandoning her--she never even attempted to justify it. But I hope this death brings some closure to my mom and her natural siblings, and helps them put their demons to rest.

Rest in peace...

From Fox News: Both former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey and his one-time driver insist that they engaged in three-way sex with McGreevey's wife, Dina Matos McGreevey, who is in the midst of a nasty divorce from from the now openly gay ex-governer.

Matos McGreevey denies that the threesomes ever occured.

The public airing of the alleged private encounters surfaced Monday following interviews published in The (Newark, N.J.) Star-Ledger and the New York Post with former McGreevey campaign aide Theodore Pedersen.

For those not in the know, Jim McGreevey resigned as New Jersey Governor after admitting an affair with a man who he then accused of blackmailing him. I remember the day he admitted the affair and resigned...one of the most bizarre and entertaining news conferences I've ever seen.

By the way, notice the typos in the Fox story...looks like they need a new editor.

The full text of the following story is being posted due to the short lifespan of stories on newspaper websites, and because this story may be updated.

From an online story on the St. Louis Post-Dispatch's website: Seven windows were broken during the weekend at an Islamic religious center in an apparent act of vandalism, police said. They said it was the third act of vandalism in less than a year at the Imam Hussin Foundation building in the 5400 block of Lansdowne Avenue.

The broken windows were discovered Sunday afternoon by members of the religious center. No arrests were made by late Sunday.

Last month, a national Muslim civil rights organization asked the FBI to investigate what it considers threats made on the Internet against a mosque near the vandalized Islamic center.

One reader post on a blog cited by the group made reference to vandalism and another to the use of dynamite.

The mosque includes a new 107-foot minaret, a tower used to call the faithful to prayer. At a groundbreaking ceremony last July, Mayor Francis Slay said the structure was likely the first minaret in the city’s history.

I'm at home alone for the next few days, as my beloved wife is at a hospital conference in Miami. It's sunny and 85 there right now, while here in St. Louis it's cloudy and a balmy 38.

I had thought about going with her to the conference--I would just bum around the city during the day and we could hang out at night. But as I mentioned 2 weeks ago, the guilt over spending the money and losing the hours at work killed me. And in hindsight, that was an excellent decision, considering that I'll essentially be jobless at the end of month.

I obviously miss my Pretty Lady, but the solitude is nice for a little bit. And I'll probably just lounge around and work extra shifts Tuesday and Wednesday while she's gone. I never do anything crazy while she's gone...I'm too old for that shit now. ;)

Yesterday morning, not long after starting my shift, I put a note on the desk of the owners...my last day at the shop will be Friday March 28th.

I want to believe that the owners of the shop are decent guys outside of the shop. Inside the shop, they're your stereotypical asshat managers. Pizza delivery should not be complicated; unfortunately, these guys make it more difficult than it needs to be. Apparently, they used to be really cool at one point...they used to be hungry. Now they're fat and lethargic, and don't seem to really care about the employees. And the drivers are in a weird position--we're "contract delivery drivers," not actual employees. But there is no contract involved, and we don't really have a whole lot of input into our jobs.

Every job has assholes...a lot of jobs have lots of office politics and plenty of bullshit to deal with. But there comes a point where you have to take your stand, and decide whether to fight or flee. The guys I work for don't take suggestions for change too well, and I'm the kind of person that is more than willing to make them. We have fundamental differences when it comes to management; I could run their stores better than they do in a heartbeat. I've been thinking about quitting recently anyway, so that I would be forced to get my shit together in a hurry.

I have a couple of consulting gigs that will pay me for the short-term, but I'm going to need something else to keep paying the bills until I find a "real" job.

If anyone knows of any pizza shops or courier services in St. Louis that are hiring drivers, please let me know. As far as a "real" job...if your company is looking for training and development folks or analysts, I'd be happy to give you a copy of my resume. The job market isn't so great here in St. Louis, but there's got to be a job for an experienced masters-educated individual.

And for the record--April can confirm that I have been busting my butt in the past two weeks looking for a real job. And just today, I went to six different restaurants to put in apps for delivering.

As much as I'd like to really shitcan my bosses and their stores, I just can't...yet.

"I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
No, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
Well, I wake in the morning,
Fold my hands and pray for rain.
I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin' me insane.
It's a shame the way she makes me scrub the floor.
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.
Well, he hands you a nickel,
He hands you a dime,
He asks you with a grin
If you're havin' a good time,
Then he fines you every time you slam the door.
I ain't gonna work for Maggie's brother no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.
Well, he puts his cigar
Out in your face just for kicks.
His bedroom window
It is made out of bricks.
The National Guard stands around his door.
Ah, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's pa no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.
No, I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.
Well, she talks to all the servants
About man and God and law.
Everybody says
She's the brains behind pa.
She's sixty-eight, but she says she's twenty-four.
I ain't gonna work for Maggie's ma no more.

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
No, I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
Well, I try my best
To be just like I am,
But everybody wants you
To be just like them.
They sing while you slave and I just get bored.
I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more."
--Bob Dylan

I gave my two weeks notice today. More tomorrow.

Practice, practice, practice...

From MSNBC: (New York) Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s political career teetered on the brink of collapse Monday after the corruption-fighting politician once known as “Mr. Clean” was accused of paying for sex with a high-priced call girl.

Wow...how the mighty fall...

As I mentioned last week, I was concerned about spending money on buying musical equipment for the Sycamore project. $500 is a lot of money, and I don't want to waste it on something that I'll get bored with easily.

After giving it some thought, I decided to go for it. I've wanted to play bass for a while now and I don't think I'll get bored with it. If for some reason I do, I'll sell the stuff off and get some of the money I spent back.

So here's what I bought:





An Ibanez Soundgear left-handed bass (with a Levey seat belt-style strap) and a Boss bass effects board. The bass has a nice sound to it, and was very reasonably priced. The effects board was actually more than the bass--over double the price of the bass actually. But I definitely want more than a clean tone, individual pedals are pretty expensive and this board has damn near everything...well worth the price. I also bought some cables and a gig bag.

Total price for everything: just under $700. A bit more than I planned to pay, but I think it will prove to be worth it in the end.

Now, we will write songs...

I've seen stuff like this before, but this MSNBC article sums it up well: Most people probably think they stop eating when they're full. They don't realize that feeling satisfied comes from a combination of signals, including how good the food tastes or how quickly certain hormones get released into the body. It may also depend on where they live.

In the diet world, there's long been talk about the French paradox. It's the idea that even though the French eat a lot of fatty cheeses, indulgent desserts and buttery pastries, they still have lower levels of obesity (as well as lower incidence of heart disease) than Americans. Experts believe that may be because the French eat smaller portions at meals or that they simply walk more than the couch potatoes in the U.S.

It's taken me a while, but when you really listen to your body, you pretty much know exactly what to give it. And then you realize that your body actually likes healthy food put into it, and that you don't need to eat so much...and that sometimes, you just need to slow down.

It's easier said than done sometimes, but I think I'm finally getting into a habit here...maybe I'll finally lose some weight. Whoohoo!

...because I just renewed the domain name for The Bosque for 2 more years. Two more years of my retarded bullshit...yay for you!

Interestingly, I only own 3 domains now, which is probably the smallest amount I've owned in quite some time: this lovely site here, the Church of the Whale Penis website and the domain that I use for my e-mail.

Apparently it's been so long since I've actually looked at my domain account that it still had contact information from my first apartment in Philadelphia. I could have sworn that I updated that info recently...ah well, at least it's finally updated now.

...at 1:30 in the afternoon on a Thursday.

My job shouldn't be that difficult...I fucking deliver pizzas...come on! But my bosses make it more difficult than it needs to be by focusing on totally unimportant shit. Like yesterday...the owners advised me not to put deliveries in my trunk unless it was over 40 degrees. Apparently, a customer called and complained about it Tuesday. Never mind that I've been doing it for a year now, never mind that the order was probably almost an hour old (because we were slammed with snow), never mind that the pizzas are stored in insulated bags that retain heat and never mind that I don't run the heater in my car a whole lot so there probably isn't a huge temperature difference between the trunk and the cabin.

I got pretty pissed off about their latest "request," to the point that I let my BP jump up...which probably contributed to the delightful migraine I had yesterday afternoon. I then got pissed off about it again this morning when I went to work, which was my fault because I brought it up to the waitress that is working today.

After I got off at 1, I headed over to Applebee's for some boneless buffalo wings...I like to eat when I'm stressed. While I was waiting for my wings, I decided to have a beer. I rarely drink, much less at 1:30 on a Thursday afternoon.

But that Sam Adams Winter Ale did me wonders...I feel so much better than I did earlier. Of course, talking about the bullshit again makes me mad, but not quite as mad as before. And I am by no means condoning the use of alcohol to remedy problems.

But still...it was nice. And one of the few perks I have with my job--having the majority of Tuesdays and Thursdays off. But I really need to find a new job.

And I swear, I'm already on it.

It was a beautiful day here in St. Louis Sunday...sunshine, temps in the upper 70s. I almost turned the A/C on in the car and the house because it was so warm.

Yesterday, we got 9 inches of snow and it was in the upper 20s. Today, it's supposed to get up to 40.

I don't know how it is that 2.9 million people willingly put up with this shit year after year. And yet, we do...almost gleefully. Maybe because we're all fucking nuts...or have good heating and air conditioning.

The full text of the following story is being posted due to the short lifespan of stories on newspaper websites, and because this story appears to be one that might be updated later.

From today's St. Louis Post-Dispatch: A Good Samaritan who tried to stop thieves from driving off with a Starbucks tip jar was run over by the getaway car Monday and remains in critical condition this morning.

Crestwood police say the victim, a 53-year-old man, was clinging to life at St. Anthony's Medical Center in south St. Louis County.

About 3 p.m. Monday, a young man and woman walked into the Starbucks at 9590 Watson Road. The woman bought a drink, then walked out to the parking lot. The man grabbed the tip jar and ran.

The Good Samaritan sitting in the cafe saw it all. He is a regular customer, well-liked by the shop's staff, police say. He chased the thief onto the parking lot to get the tip jar back.

"The car door was open, they sped off and he gets run over," said Capt. Rick Downs of the Crestwood police. "He ended up underneath the car."

Customers witnessed the whole thing. One of the customers, a nurse, administered first aid until paramedics arrived.

Crestwood detectives are asking for the public's help in identifying the suspects.

The driver of the getaway car is described as a white man, 17 to 20 years old and about 5-foot-10 to 6-foot-1. He has brown hair that covers his ears. He has a thin build and wore blue jeans and a hooded brown jacket with a tan stripe.

The woman he was with is described as white and 16 to 19 years old. She has a medium build, blonde shoulder-length hair and wore a Led Zeppelin shirt and a black jacket.

They sped off, traveling east on Watson Road, in a white 1990s Ford Taurus.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Crestwood Police Department at (314) 729-4800.

The bastards at NESA found me today...the National Eagle Scout Association.

I know...you're shocked and horrified. Unfortunately...amazingly...I am an Eagle Scout. I earned it back in 1991. I spent a total of 16 or so years in Scouting, from Tiger Cubs as a first-grader up to being an adult leader.

For the most part, I enjoyed Scouting. I learned a lot, met a lot of cool people and learned a lot about myself. But in recent years, the program has just become more like the Catholic Church to me. You tolerate the bullshit dogma when you're younger because you don't really think too much about it. But then you see it for what it really is. And while you support the group's right to take their stances, their stances aren't your stances...and you have no desire to move towards them.

The final straw for me with Scouting was in 2000, when the Supreme Court upheld the right of the Boy Scouts of America to bar openly gay members. I support the decision SCOTUS made, because BSA is a private club, and sexual orientation is not protected under federal law...though I think it should be.

Just like the Catholics, BSA can set its membership criteria as it sees fit. If you don't like the rules, don't join. Well, I don't see gay men in Scouts as a problem. I see them as dudes that are interested in what Scouting has to offer...they just happen to like other dudes in a more-than-friendly way.

When you become an Eagle Scout, you automatically get a 10-year membership to NESA. To be honest, I don't really know if there were any real benefits to the association. I was fairly active in Scouting until 1993, then pretty much dropped out, finally letting my membership lapse around 1997. My NESA membership lapsed in 2001...and I had no desire to renew it. I used to list the fact that I was an Eagle Scout on my resume, but killed it off after the SCOTUS ruling. Somehow though, NESA found me (at my current address to boot!) and want me to update my information for some book they're putting together.

Forget it...I have no interest in being a part of it. Being associated with a bunch of military wannabes/has-beens that don't like gay people isn't my thing.

I vowed to improve my financial situation in 2008. After a rough January, February was very good...wound up saving money this month for the first time since last February.

Now that I'm finally in a savings zone, I'm finding it hard to spend money on "frivolous" stuff...which I guess is a good thing. For example:

--I was going to go see The Orbz play on March 14th. They're playing down in Rolla (a small college town about 100 miles SW of St. Louis) during the big St. Patrick's Day celebration down there. I went so far as taking the day off of work (with my brother covering for me). I'd take a financial hit for not working the Friday, plus I'd spend money on gas, food and beverages--overall, around $300. I can afford it--I have money in savings, and I can pick up some extra shifts at the shop this month. But I just can't justify it...as much as I love The Orbz and would love to give them some St. Louis love, I don't feel comfortable spending the money. Besides...they play the following night in St. Louis.

Of course, my brother has already agreed to work for me that day and night, and I'm not going to take the hours away from him because he could certainly use the money. Maybe I'll work at one of the other stores that day...or just take a day off. We'll see...

--April is going to a conference in Miami that same weekend--March 15-19. I thought about maybe going down there with her. I could play around during the day, and we could spend evenings together. If I drove, it would probably cost me $300 or so. If I fly, closer to $700. Again, I could afford it...but that's a lot of money for 3 or 4 days in Miami. I'll just hang out at home, maybe work a few extra shifts and enjoy the solitude.

I'm proud of myself for having better fiscal control. I am a bit concerned though, as I have a big purchase coming up--a bass guitar.

I've been planning on buying one since the late fall, and said I would do so once we got our tax refund back. Well, it's in the bank, and I'm ready to buy. But I'm kinda feeling guilty about doing so...I have the money to do it, it's not going to be very expensive (probably $500 at the max) and it's been part of "the plan" for a while now. If I weren't left-handed, I probably wouldn't even need to buy one, as I could probably use Matt's wife's bass. Given that I'm left-handed, I don't think the chances of finding a bass at a pawn shop are good, though I'm going to try. I could try to learn to play right-handed, but that's just not my nature...I tried to play guitar right-handed and it sucked.

I need to think about this very hard over the next couple days...I'm pretty sure that I want to spend this kind of money for musical equipment, but I need to be absolutely sure.

Here's an interesting marketing concept developed by a church in Jefferson County: satansucks.com. I heard about it from a story on KSDK's website.

Notice how KSDK censors the word "sucks" in their story. WTF?! Oh, wait...what the fuck?! :)